My First Lesson

“This isn’t what I thought missionary work would be like,” I think to myself. “I thought missionaries go about their day bringing good tidings and love to all; everyone stops and listens to what an ordained representative of God has to say. Instead, I find myself stumbling through the intricate Chinese grammar, unsure about what to do in lessons, and tiered from all the bike riding. Not nearly as glamorous as I thought it would be.”

Red light. Time to stop my bike for the 100^th time and talk to someone. Who looks like they want the gospel of Jesus Christ…

“不用...” says the first.

“不用...” says the second.

“不用...” says the third even before I open my mouth!

“What the heck does this “Bu-Yong” word mean. I get that it is some sort of rejection, but what are they actually saying?” I ask Elder Boshard in slight annoyance. He tells me that “不用”, directly translated, means “useless.”

Did he just say that all the Taiwanese people are telling me my message is useless?

He continues, “And I know you are probably thinking they are saying our message is useless…” How did he know? “…but they are merely saying they have no use for your message in their life right now. Really, it’s a more polite way to reject you than to say they aren’t interested according to Chinese culture.” After feeling guilty for impulsively judging them I give a short acknowledgment and continue with contacting people.

Back to my bike. Back to my thoughts.

So, if missionary work isn’t glamorous, what is it? I find missionary work is more than just teaching the word of God. The best way I can put it is that missionary work is facilitating God’s interactions with His children. I know that might sound weird, but as I try to talk with the Taiwanese people I get to witness His work with them. I don’t really do anything—God does it all. Thus I feel it is ok to conclude that missionary work isn’t the works of missionaries, but of our Heavenly Father.

I get an impression—over there, I should go talk to him. Stop my bike, pull out a pamphlet. Let’s do this.

As I talk with the stranger standing outside some construction zone, Elder Boshard looks back from where he is riding to find a half dozen scooters, a car or two, a noodle shop, but no Elder Smith! Because missionaries aren’t allowed to be separated this is really alarming. After retracing his steps he finally finds me riding away from a high-rise construction site, beaming. I explain to him I that the guy I just talked to is a security guard for the construction company and he is interested in learning more about our message. Up until then I hadn’t really had success sharing the gospel on the streets so I was just ecstatic. Even though I had a hard time getting the words out, this Brother Huang set up a time to meet: Monday Evening.

During our daily planning session on Monday morning three days later I am optimistic. Elder Boshard does remind me that many people who set up teaching appointments with us don’t actually show up. I know this, but refuse to accept the fact that Brother Huang won’t be there for our lesson. I just know it will happen. After another investigator stands us up, Elder Boshard, a member that just so happened to be with us, and I all ride our bikes or scooter to the construction zone Monday night, as planned.

As with most lessons I understand the beginning pleasantries but am completely lost for the remainder of the lesson. Elder Boshard seems to be doing fine teaching Brother Huang along side a native Taiwanese member who can understand everything. I want so desperately to share my thoughts though. In contrast to everyone that says “不用” so readily it seems Brother Huang is actually interested in what we are saying. Now Elder Boshard is giving him the Book of Mormon we brought. I assume they are talking about prophets because I hear the Chinese word for prophets but that’s about it. This lesson must be going really well!

Then I get this feeling that I need to say something about the atonement. I don’t know what to talk about because there isn’t much I can say about the subject. Even if I just bear my testimony of Christ’s atonement that would be great. The problem is I have no idea when to say something and Elder Boshard seems to being doing just fine without me.

If the moment presents itself I will say something. If not, it’s no big deal.

The impression to say something immediately becomes really strong. My heart is pounding. While Elder Boshard and the member think about what to say to Brother Huang’s previous questions I interject and talk about something—not knowing beforehand what to say. Honestly, I have no idea what I am saying or why I am saying it, but comprehendible Chinese seems to be coming out of my mouth. I recall talking about how I can’t understand what anyone is saying, how I am far away from home, and how my insides don’t along well with the food. Yet despite all these trials I still feel strength, happiness, and optimism in missionary work. Then for a reason unknown to me, I go on to say that this is because of the power I get from the atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that it is through Him that I am able to speak in Chinese (I got a C in High School French just to give you perspective) and I know that as I continue to do this work that I will see miracles.

Now I feel really bad because I swear no one understood what I just said (I sure didn’t really know what I was saying anyway). It  feels like I said some random statements about Jesus when they were talking about the Book of Mormon. Yeah, now I’m embarrassed. Not saying anything for the rest of the lesson.

After my two cents, Elder Boshard testifies of my words and the three Chinese speakers start their gospel discussion again. From what I could observe my thoughts were insignificant to the lesson, but I was glad to have made some contribution.

Later I learned my testimony had a much bigger role in the lesson. Unbeknownst to me Brother Huang had a hard time relating to the person they called Christ. He wasn’t too excited about reading the Book of Mormon nor could he get off work to go to church. The lesson wasn’t going as well as hoped. After I said something, though, he had renewed interest and committed to reading the Book of Mormon. Apparently my thoughts were exactly in line with what he was saying and really helped him with his concern!

Isn’t it interesting how God won’t let us fail when we have the right intentions. Even though I had thoughts and feelings of failure I in fact provided some good insights to the lesson. Also, why did it feel like I didn’t understand my own words? Everyone was looking at me so it had to be me speaking. Maybe it goes back to what I was thinking about on my bike. Missionary work is more than just teaching. It is doing His work. I may have weaknesses, but with Christ I can overcome them in both the figurative and literal sense of the word. I’m starting to really believe there is something more to this whole missionary work experience. 

Initiation

The group of missionaries is dwindling as I await to see who I will be spending the next 3-6 months with and where I will be serving as missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know only one thing—I will be somewhere in Southern Taiwan. My friends around me are being called to places like the busy Gaoxiong City, rural Puli, and hot Kending. As I sit attentively awaiting to be called up to open my Hongbao 紅包 (a red envelope that usually holds money but instead, for this special assignment, contains our call to serve and trainer’s name), my imagination envisions miraculous adventures in this foreign land complete with profound Chinese proverbs and fortune cookies galore. I have no idea what is in store for me and can’t hold back my excitement.

Finally I hear my name, “Brother Smith, come on up and open your Hongbao,” exclaims my Mission President, Pres. Bishop.  I immediately feel dread and fear as my future becomes reality. Next thing I know I am getting a warm embrace from some skinny blond guy I have never before met. With glasses and the biggest grin you can imagine he escorts me to a seat not far from where I was originally sitting. I do not like touchy-feely gestures, and the public embrace makes me embarrassed and discombobulated throwing me off my groove. Millions of questions rush through my head as I sit through the rest of the meeting awaiting the next phase of my mission. I have no idea what Pres. Bishop is saying because I am just overcome with thoughts of uncertainty and inadequacy. As odd as it sounds I feel so distant and confused despite having the arm of my companion around my shoulder suggesting everything will be all right. “What am I doing here? Where are we going next? Who the heck is this Elder Boshard that seriously likes hugging people?” are all thoughts I have as the last of the Hongbaos are opened. I don’t believe the reassuring smile Elder Boshard gives me just before the closing prayer. I can’t even order dinner in Chinese, how is it all going to be just fine?

The next few hours are a blur. Amid the haze I figure out that my area of service for the next couple of months is a heavily populated district within the main city of Taizhong called NanTun 南屯. I can barely pronounce the name let alone find it on the map of the city my trainer shows me—this isn’t good. Since our area is so close to the mission home where Pres. Bishop lives, we ride our bikes the 30 min ride through the most populated city I have ever seen. It is surreal as I smell the exotic smells of incense and stinky tofu, observe and avoid the precarious scooter traffic, and feel the heavy topical air move in and out of my lungs as I futilely try to keep up with Elder Boshard’s superior bike-riding skills.

I don’t quite know what to think of Taiwan yet. The whole bike ride I just passively watch the Taiwanese people go about their day thinking, “I’ve got to be in the most realistic movie ever!” As authentic as my surroundings appear, it all seems artificial. The contrast to what I have known for the 19 years prior is so great that what my senses are telling me just can’t be real. I keep asking my trainer, “When are we going to be in NanTun? When we get there you have to tell me.” I am dying to know.

We then get to the biggest intersection I have ever seen and Elder Boshard turns to me and nonchalantly proclaims, “Oh hey, we are here.” Before me I see this:

These pictures don’t adequately describe the insane amount of activity and life I see in front of me during the rush hour traffic of NanTun’s busiest intersection. Restaurants, motorists, and pedestrians create a scene of organized chaos that are the roads of Taiwan, leaving me in awe.

In that same moment I realize I am responsible for the salvation of every single soul before me.

Fear, dread, dismay, panic, and shock paralyze me completely and unexpectedly. As a 19 year old kid without any genuine real-life experience, I have no idea what to do. No amount of religious study or church worship could have prepared me for the responsibility that now lays on my shoulders. What do I do? My companion and I are 100% responsible for teaching the gospel to these people. No one else in the world has that same stewardship. Only me and Smiley.

As if sensing my plight, Elder Boshard knowingly turns to me, smiles, and says, “Go talk to them.” Those words just ring in my ears like a call to arms. I don’t know who these people are, what they need in their life, or how they can build their relationship with God, but I can at least tell them where to start. Through Jesus Christ they can receive the support and help they need in their life to feel everlasting joy and happiness, overcome insurmountable trials, and gain the remission of their sins. No matter the problem, Jesus Christ, their savior, can help. Even though my Chinese is broken, I can at least try. I will tell everyone this message because it has guided me through my life and I know it can help them. My only prayer is they just might listen hard enough to understand my message and my Chinese.

What the guy in the scooter next to me doesn’t know is he is the start of my mission in Taiwan.

有信心有辦法！

Welcome to Taiwan

As I got on the plane I was practically giddy with excitement. I wanted nothing more than to start the next two years of my life in the foreign land of Taiwan. The culture, language, people, and religion of the Taiwanese people enthralled my imagination. It was such an alien place to me I didn’t know what to expect.

Three months before this moment I found myself entering the Missionary Training Center (MTC). During this time in my life I was experiencing many firsts in my life—first time traveling on my own, first time living away from my twin brother, first time living outside of the United States, first time immersing myself in a new culture and language. I had many reasons to be both excited and scared as I started my service as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. With no idea of what the next two years had in store I was optimistic about my mission.

After an emotional goodbye with my family and friends (my only contact being weekly emails and biannual phone calls while I was in Taiwan) I endeavored to learn the Mandarin Chinese language at the MTC. I may talk about this more in the future, but for now it is enough to say that the MTC was fundamental to my future mission. I learned the basics of Chinese, developed the necessary teaching skills, built lasting friendships, and gained 15 lbs. Yes, it was quite the experience. After 12 weeks of arduous study and fun our travel plans came in. I was scheduled to leave for Taiwan on Sept. 25^th 2010.

It was at this point all my emotions were coming to a climax. Both wonder and intrigue were mixed with worry and nervousness. As I sat down in my chair my thoughts were on my family, friends and future. Because the flight was a nonstop from SFO to TPE we boarded a Taiwanese airline where all the stewardesses were Asian. We also notice they would speak Chinese to the passengers and assumed they were native Taiwanese. After three months of intense language study my fellow missionaries and I thought we could, at least, order our breakfast in the language we had been practicing. When asked what we wanted to eat we responded by asking to hear the menu in Chinese. Upon hearing terribly broken Chinese and hesitating for a moment, she answered our question in some foreign language I did not understand. At first I thought she replied in Japanese or Korean or something, but when my confused buddy asked her to repeat she attempted to tell us the menu again, but noticeably slower. I’m sure all the native speakers around us found our exchange humorous as we apprehensively ordered food—none of us knew what exactly what we chose. I thought, “all plane food is nasty, right? How bad could it be.” Even to this day I don’t know what it is I ate…

When I finally got to Taiwan I met up with my mission president, President Bishop. He is in charge of all the missionary work that goes on in the southern part of Taiwan for the Taiwan, Taizhong mission, and led me through the good and the bad times I had while serving the Lord. I love and respect Pres. Bishop so much. Anyway, he oriented us on missionary work and introduced us to the beautiful country of Taiwan.

The basic unit of missionary work is the companionship. Two missionaries, a senior and junior companion, are responsible for all the work that goes on in their area. They find, teach, and baptize people that come unto Christ and accept Him as their Savior. A companionship will also find ways to help, serve, and support the church in their assigned area. The next order of organization is the district. A district is lead by a District Leader and is comprised of 2-4 companionships. Multiple districts are lead by two Zone Leaders, and they oversee the missionary work that goes on amongst the 3-5 districts in their zone. Finally, the whole mission is comprised of 5-6 zones and lead by the Mission President, Pres. Bishop, and the Assistants to the President (AP). All of these leadership positions are held by normal missionaries age 18-21, with the exception of Mission President. He is… more seasoned.

After a day or so of orientation with Pres. Bishop, he assigned me my first companion known as my trainer, Elder. Boshard, and my first area we were to work, NanTun. It was at that moment my missionary service in Taiwan started.

In this blog I wish to share with you my troubles, trials, experiences, successes, and miracles I saw on my mission. I served in diverse places and with amazing people. From the middle of Taiwan to the tops of the mountains I proclaimed the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Because of the spiritual nature, I will share some of the spiritual lessons I learned as well as some of the sacred miracles I saw as a missionary. It truly was a time of self-discovery as I gave all that I had to serving others. As Matthew eloquently put it, “whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it.” This time of my life was truly amazing and I can’t wait to relive all the exciting details with you.